Airbrushed Half-truths
But we actually know these things are not entirely correct, yet we swear by them…..
NB: I was really glad when my president
wrote about those motivational quotes that just don’t sit right…when reality kicks in. It felt so good to see someone who shared the same thoughts!😂😂 Because!!! At some point, we just have to question certain things, and I like to question!!For a society that almost everyone is claiming to be “woke”….it baffles me that we still believe some of these popular, overused statements that have become romanticized truths, but in reality they’re just flawed generalizations.
The thing is, these phrases actually sound wise until you sit with them for a long while.
At first, they sound sweet. Deep. Instagram-caption deep. WhatsApp-status worthy.
Some people even go as far as printing them on picture frames…….hung proudly on bedroom walls like holy commandments.
But with time and common sense, you start to see them for what they are: beautifully dressed lies.
Lies!!! Wrapped like shawarma.
Trust me, they are many!!!!!! The list is longggg.
But I’ll just go with a few…….(not so few tho)
Beauty with brains.
This just had to be number one!! My blood boils when I see captions flying up and down. A girl has just graduated, achieved something plausible. Then the next thing, people start posting her pictures, congratulating her with the hashtag ‘beauty with brains’.
Wait, do we think this is a compliment?
The phrase “beauty with brains” perpetuates a somewhat harmful notion that attractiveness and intelligence are mutually exclusive traits that rarely occur together. This expression reveals our cultural bias! We’re somehow surprised when someone deemed physically attractive also demonstrates intellectual capacity.
Why are you shocked that a beautiful woman just completed her PhD in mathematics?
Beautiful women aren’t supposed to know maths?
I just finished my presentation, and with your pot belly and bald head the next thing you’ll say is “fine girl wey know book, wow!” Sir why are you amazed? Why are you saying ‘wow’ repeatedly like an ambulance?
Isn’t it wild that we act like being beautiful and intelligent is rare? As if women come in “pretty” or “smart” packaging, never both?
Saying “beauty with brains” is like saying “bread with butter” they go well together, but one doesn’t cancel the other. Yet somehow, we say it like it’s an exception, not a normal combination.
This half-truth reinforces damaging stereotypes in both directions. Beautiful people are presumed to be intellectually deficient until proven otherwise, while intellectually gifted individuals are subtly expected to be physically unremarkable.
As how?
Women can be stunning, sharp, strategic, soft, and silly…all at once!
It’s not breaking news. It’s called being multidimensional. Pleaseee.
Pretty girls don’t struggle
Hello??? Have you met me in real life????
Okay, hold on. I’m not disposing the fact that ‘pretty girl privilege’ doesn’t exist. Actually, it does, and some girlies are just lucky.
There’s this idea that once a girl is fine, life automatically rolls out a red carpet: free food, rich boyfriend, soft life, influencer deals, 4-week trips to Santorini , and rent paid in hugs. LOL!
If you’re a very pretty girl like me, I’m sure you must have heard… “why will a fine girl like you say she’s broke?” As if we’re being paid by the Nigerian government for being pretty.
Reality check?
Beauty might open doors, but it doesn’t pay bills on its own. Pretty girls get ghosted. They get underpaid. They overthink texts. They fight acne, hustle jobs, manage rent, and argue with keke drivers just like everybody else.
Because!!! What do you mean “fine girl like you dey ask conductor for change??” Oga that’s the same change I’ve already planned to use and buy roasted corn at my junction.
The belief that attractive women face fewer challenges in life overlooks the complex realities they navigate. While certain social doors may open more easily based on appearance, conventionally attractive women often face different but equally significant struggles: being taken seriously professionally, dealing with unwanted attention, having accomplishments attributed to looks rather than ability, and experiencing higher rates of harassment.
Fine girls don’t always have soft lives, sometimes, they just have soft filters.
Delay is not denial
A classic slogan used to console ourselves through heartbreak, joblessness, rejection, and unanswered texts.
I get it, this saying offers genuine comfort during difficult waiting periods, but it can also create false hope and prevent necessary acceptance.
And, sometimes…delay is denial like maddddd!!
Not every delay represents a temporary obstacle on the path to eventual success. Sometimes, a “no” truly means “no,” and recognizing this can be crucial for emotional health and redirecting energy toward more attainable goals.
The mature approach recognizes that some delays indeed lead to eventual fulfillment, while others represent final decisions that deserve our respect and acceptance.
Move on my love.
Handsome men are players.
So he’s dark, tall, smells like Dior Sauvage, wears neatly tailored senator outfits, has soft lips and nice dentition and minding his business sipping whiskey……and your first thought is: Yoruba demon! You’ve already assumed his name is Femi, the heartbreaker.
Sisters!! Let’s be calming down sometimes.
Society has made it hard for fine men to just exist.
They smile politely, and someone somewhere is already tweeting, “Don’t fall for him, sis!”
But what if he’s not a player?
What if he just exfoliates and drinks water?
What if the problem isn’t him, it’s the trauma from your last relationship with someone who looked less fine and still broke your heart?
Let’s stop assuming good looks = bad intentions. Some heartbreakers are ugly, some womanizers have pot bellies and bald heads, with body odor and empty pockets.
Be vigilant.
Money doesn’t buy happiness / Money isn’t everything
We say this with our full chest until it’s time to pay bills.
Relax please!!!
Are we talking about the same money that got me Kennedy Ryan’s SKYLAND book series?. The same money that got me a brand new MacBook Pro? And my depression immediately disappeared?😂😂 The same money that is going to get me Anna Huang’s KING OF SIN series??
These books are not small money oo….and they’re like happiness injections!! (Book lovers can relate.)
Fact is , the adage contains profound truth about the limitations of material wealth in creating lasting fulfillment, yet it often minimizes the very real suffering that financial insecurity causes. Research consistently shows that money does increase happiness and well-being up to the point where basic needs and moderate comforts are reliably met.
Money doesn’t buy happiness ke? Okay ma’am/sir may you find happiness in poverty.
I understand, the money could not stop cancer from killing your mother….but the money flew her abroad for thorough treatment, chemotherapy sessions….and gave her a little time. I get it, money will not stop that heart disease, but with money, you can get a heart transplant.
Money might not able to defeat death, but it can do a WHOLE LOT!
Money may not buy happiness directly, but its absence often guarantees specific forms of unhappiness and depression!
Let’s not lie, there’s this happiness that comes with credit alerts!!!!!!
Remember the same bible that called it the “root of all evil” also said it “answers everything”.
Please let’s not romance poverty here.
Good women are hard to find
Lies….
I won’t say much on this, because we all know the truth.
Good women aren’t hard to find.
They just don’t always come with big bum bum, waist trainers, or curated aesthetics. Some of them don’t even have the energy for artificial packaging.
Good women are not endangered species. They’re just overlooked.
They’re the ones who don’t post thirst traps. Who love deeply but quietly. Who respect themselves too much to chase someone emotionally unavailable.
When men say “good women are scarce,” sometimes they mean, “I didn’t recognize her until she blocked me.”
Yes, because you were busy chasing shadows.
The issue isn’t the scarcity of good women, it’s the lack of emotional maturity to recognize and value them.
NB: Good women aren’t hard to find, most of them just know their worth and choose to mind their business.
Men are visual beings
We’ve used this phrase to excuse everything from cheating to attention span disorders.😂
Yes, men are visual. But they also have brains, hearts, and discernment (or they should).
Men are moved by what they see? You’re moved by her fresh skin and the tattoo on her waist, but you’re not moved by the fact that you’re squeezing yourself like akara inside agege bread by sharing a tiny room with six of your friends?
It’s how some men say it proudly like a bible reading…..
“You know we’re moved by what we see”
Sir, you’re moved by what you see ke? You can see a woman’s cleavage and thighs , but you can’t see where you’re headed in life? You can’t see that your bank account is a laughing stock and that you need to set clear goals in life?
Biko Please……..
Being visual doesn’t mean lacking control.
It doesn’t mean you should cheat because someone passed you with BBL hips and big boobs.
Being visual should never replace being intentional, and reasonable.
What’s yours will not pass you by
It’s giving “vibes and inshallah.”
I’ll go straight to the point..
Sure, what’s meant for you will come….but sometimes, it’ll knock and you won’t open the door. Or it’ll need effort and you’ll ignore the assignment. Or worse, you’ll fumble it because you were busy posting soft life quotes and not building soft skills.
Fate is real. But so is responsibility.
What’s yours can still pass you by like flash!!!
What’s yours may be yours, but you can still miss it if you’re not present, prepared, or paying attention.
Children bring blessings
Okay….why do you have six kids and you can’t even provide shelter for them. Talmbout blessings….lol
This intergenerational belief has been passed down like a family heirloom: “Once you give birth, blessings will follow.” It’s a beautiful sentiment, but blessings don’t automatically arrive like credit alerts once a child enters your life.
I’ve seen families fall into penury because of “children bring blessings, God will provide”
Please let’s help ourselves and snap out of extreme delusions.
While children certainly represent profound gifts that bring joy, meaning, and transformation, they also come with significant responsibilities: diapers, baby food/formula, school fees, midnight fevers, and the pressure to work twice as hard to provide security and opportunity. For those who are emotionally, financially, or mentally unprepared, what should feel like a blessing can instead manifest as overwhelming burnout and resentment.
Children themselves aren’t investment vehicles for improving one’s circumstances, they’re complete human beings with needs that require substantial resources, stability, and support.
It’s better to recognize both the genuine blessing children represent and the genuine preparation required to create an environment where both parent and child can truly thrive.
Don’t you dare bring an innocent soul into this harsh world to suffer.
God will punish you in advance.
Every woman’s dream is to be a wife
Lmao!!! Spare me the hyped BS.
This annoying and persistent cultural narrative suggests that marriage represents the ultimate aspiration and fulfillment for all women, regardless of their individual temperaments, goals, or circumstances.
While many women do genuinely desire partnership and marriage.
Some women just want to chill!! Get degrees, focus on career ambitions, travel the world, get money in the bag and live soft life pro max, mind their business and take care of their dogs, eat as they want.
And for these women, marriage is not the finish line…..wait, it’s not even on the map! It doesn’t represent a cherished dream.
Don’t just assume that every woman wants to be called Mrs Okafor….or Mama Chinedu. Some want to remain the rich single aunty who doesn’t give a fuck about societal expectations.
Skip that thought about them being “lonely behind closed doors” because you actually do not live their lives for them. Drop it.
With billions of women in the world, it’s unrealistic to assume that all of them want to get married.
Come on, that’s blanket assumption my love.
Humanity is too diverse for that crap.
All men cheat
Ladies!! Hear me out, don’t roll your eyes yet my darlings.
No, all men do not cheat! And we know.
But say it enough times, and even the faithful ones will start questioning their purpose.
“All men cheat” is the anthem of the bruised, the betrayed, and the badly advised. It sounds like caution, but often, it’s just pre-trauma bonding.
“Men are cheat and liars”
— someone who haven’t been in a relationship yet.
We wear it like perfume: a little bitter, a little loud, and strong enough to enter the room before we do.
We quote it to justify paranoia.
But let’s just be sincere, in as much as we like to drag these men.
Cheating is a CHOICE, not a chromosome.
It’s not written into the male DNA, it’s written into mindsets that were never taught discipline, empathy, or accountability.
Some men cheat.
Some men lie.
But many men love deeply, stay loyal, communicate, and stay present. They exist! You just don’t find them where red flags are being waved like national banners.
When we say “All men cheat,” we flatten character, excuse patterns, and condition ourselves to expect the worst.
And when you expect betrayal, you might attract it…..or worse, tolerate it.
Also..
Some people don’t actually believe all men cheat. They just say it to make peace with the fact that the one they liked did. It’s like a shield.
But sissy , you don’t want to walk into your dream healthy relationship or marriage with “all men cheat” as your watchword and daily recitation.
Follow your heart
We all know how dangerous this phrase is…😂
Your heart? That organ that told you to borrow money from a loan app and give your deadbeat boyfriend to squander?
The same heart? That told you to remain in that abusive relationship, because you can die for love.
The same heart that encouraged you to quit your job without a clear plan or way forward?
Following your heart sounds poetic until your heart leads you straight into a situationship that only has chemistry and confusion, but no communication or clarity.
Here’s what I know…..
Your heart is emotional. But your brain is logical.
One feels, the other thinks. When you follow one and silence the other, it might end in tears.
The heart loves a soft life and wants to travel to Maldives.
The brain remembers rent is due and your account is an empty vessel.
The heart might say, “Marry him, he makes you laugh.”
The brain will ask, “Yes, but can he listen when you’re crying at 2 a.m.?”
Nobody is saying don’t feel.
But also, don’t fall so deep into vibes that you ignore values.
So no, don’t just “follow your heart.”
Follow wisdom. Follow God. Follow the signs.
Because sometimes your heart is in love with what your trauma is familiar with.
And the list goes on!!!!!! But I’ll stop typing here…
Half-truths feel good. They’re like comfort food….warm, familiar, and sweet. But too much of it? Emotional bloating.
We walk around quoting these polished phrases like they’re scripture, never checking if they actually nourish us or just fill us with fluff.
While they each contain elements of wisdom, they become problematic when accepted uncritically or applied universally. Perhaps the greater wisdom lies not in these statements themselves but in our willingness to examine them thoughtfully, extract their partial truths, recognize their limitations, and develop more nuanced perspectives that honor the complexity of human experience.
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Thank you for reading ❤️
The one I hate is "you attract what you are"
You better not let me swear for you. If I attract what I am, one sweet fine dark tall hocolate, caramel skinned fine man with 7 figures bank account is supposed to be in my DM everyday telling me different reasons why he loves me and telling me about his day, giving me what I need (not only financially oh before one broke boy will come and be shouting under my comment) because that's what I do in a relationship. I give it my all. I don't hold back so why do foolish boys come my way, boys that are hard to look at, acting hard to get.
The way you ended this piece oh chim😩🤌🏽
Drum rolls!!!!!🥁